How to believe in yourself when you feel defeated and ready to quit

Personal Development

How to believe in yourself when you feel defeated and ready to quit

Personal Development

Sometimes it’s hard to muster up some belief in ourselves when things aren’t going well when we get trapped in a rut, or feel things are moving at snail speed and left wondering why everyone else seems to be crushing it.

When this happens I encourage you to know you’re not alone in this. I’ve had to pull myself out of the trenches more times than I can count and I really believe the 5 strategies below are the most effective in getting you to the other side quickly.

The next time you’re feeling the struggle try these 5 ways to rekindle belief in yourself.

#1: Get Momentum.

Sometimes believing in ourselves comes down to tactically winning a little each day. It’s the small wins that give us confidence for greater achievements. When you accomplish something your brain gets dumped with dopamine and it’s like reward, reward, reward this makes you start to feel better instantly. So think about 3 things you know will give you a little momentum today. These don’t have to be earth-shattering wins because once you get some momentum you will be apt to tackle bigger goals over time. Start small and be consistent daily with it.

For example: If you are having issues in your relationship what is one thing you could say to your partner to get a little pop or energy back into the relationship? One thing to crack a smile or have a laugh together? Just one smile, one kiss, or one good date can change the game moving forward.

Remember the little wins every day add up to greatness in the end. So go grab yourself a win today.

#2: Integrate the Wins into Your Identity.

Oftentimes when people don’t believe in themselves it’s not because there isn’t proof they shouldn’t it’s because they never celebrate their wins.

As an entrepreneur, it’s easy to only see the checklist! To keep checking things off but the problem is in five years from now when all the checkmarks are checked you still feel the same about yourself. It’s because you never took the time to pat yourself on the back.

So instead after you achieve a win take a moment to appreciate what you’ve done, to give yourself credit, to be thankful for any support you received from others. Celebrate it and call it into your heart. Allow yourself to FEEL proud of the hard work you’ve put in to get that achievement.

Integration Practice:
This won’t happen automatically. You literally need to schedule time each night to reflect on the day, remember the small wins, and feel them. I like to write out all my wins before bed that way my mind can marinate on that successful feeling all night. It creates great energy to wake up to in the morning.

When I started doing this in my business I found the wins coming more frequently and I was feeling way more fulfilled in my work. People even told me that I seemed more relaxed and inflow. So try it for yourself and see how the magic works.

#3: Get feedback.

If you are still doubting yourself then go get some feedback. Ask the five closest people in your life what they see you being great at. Sometimes how we see ourselves is not how others do. It’s nice to get healthy reminders from outside voices to remind ourselves of how awesome we are when we feel we might not be. The problem is most people won’t do this because they are scared. They fear the other person might tell them they suck, or they never follow through but if that’s the case then I’d say you’re asking the wrong people.

Practice: Go out and Ask 5 people, “What do you think I’m good at?” “What do you think makes me a good person?” Their words will inspire or at least direct you. Sometimes we need that outside perspective.

When I did this I cried at the responses. They were incredible. It gave me just the boost I needed to get out of the slump and get going again. So go and do it trust me you won’t be disappointed.

#4: Prime the emotions.

Of course, we want to feel motivated, connected to our mission, and on fire every day but the reality is most days we won’t leap out of bed feeling like that. Some days we wake up feeling like plain crap. But that is no excuse to allow yourself to stay in this energy. If you do it’s most likely you will lose so much productivity and be miserable doing it. So what’s that gonna solve?

You can’t wait to have good energy in life, you need to create it. Think about a power plant. It doesn’t have energy, it creates energy.

Instead, recognize you feel like crap, ask yourself why (do less of that) and then get doing something to change that vibe.

For example…

I do an affirmation practice in the morning every day. I find some quote, passage, statement that has power to it and resonates. (Napoleon Hill, Tony Robbins, Brendon Burchard) Then I say this out loud to myself in the most confident, loud voice I can. I say it over and over. What this is doing is activating a power within, which then activates an emotion, which then activates my entire day.

Manifesting Tip: Or some days I just want to dance and visualize myself living out my biggest dreams. So maybe I’m on stage speaking to thousands, or at my book signing and I dance around like a crazy person feeling the emotions of what it feels like to do something like that. This actually calls in the manifestation quicker.

#5: Love yourself.

Maybe you haven’t allowed yourself to recognize the beautiful things you’ve created in your life so it’s easy to not show love to YOU. Remember there is an energy that is WAY bigger than us you can access at any time. You were made from love and are unique among the seven billion-plus people on this planet. Recognize and honor that uniqueness.

Honor the parts of you that are amazing and the not so amazing parts allow yourself to work on. It’s all a choice. You can be anything you desire with a little effort.

I’m giving you permission to feel pride and love for yourself. Take a moment now and write out 25 ways you love yourself and why you are awesome! Simply be grateful for who you are, your desire to improve, and the blessings in your life.

Also, take a look at how far you’ve come. We often get caught up in where we’re going that we never stop to appreciate how far we’ve come. I would stop and take a moment to write out how far you’ve come over the last year, 6 months, month, or week. Whatever time marker you want. Write out all your accomplishments, lessons, learnings, growth. I can guarantee you will see how incredible you really are.

There you have it: 5 ways to believe in yourself. Now go out there, take action and make it real. Believing in you always!

If you liked this post please give it a thumbs up, comment your biggest takeaway, and share it with someone you know needs to hear this today.

Cheering you on always
Life Coach Tiffany Julie Headshot

About Tiffany Julie

Tiffany Julie is a leading High-Performance Success Coach and 7+ Figure Entrepreneur. Her mission is to help others step into their highest potential by mastering every area of their life. She helps her clients manifest exponential results through high-performance habits, mindset reprogramming techniques, wealth energetics, manifestation principles, & high-level business strategies.

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